Is that light I see?

I have been too distracted lately to write anything interesting. The last couple of weeks have been quite hectic. With baseball season in full swing, we are constantly going to practices or games because both children are playing this year. It has been busy, but the games are great. They are at the perfect age, and it is not too competitive. My son's team is a bit more competitive than my daughters, but I am trying to get used to it. I love a good competition, but some parents display some questionable behavior when it comes to winning. They are children! All they are concerned about is hitting the ball, and the ice cream they get at the end of the game!

Still working on getting a good portfolio created in an effort to get some freelance work with different online magazines. Things are coming along great, but this month has just been hectic which devours my time to be creative and write. I just want to prove to myself (and some others lol) that I am good enough of a writer do be paid for it. If I can work and "live by my pen", I will be living a life long dream. I love computers and programming, but I love writing. I can combine the two, and my life would be awesome!

I am tired of sitting stagnant. I feel a shift in energy inside of me. Change is coming, and I can feel the intensity all around me. It will be good for me, and my family. I know that nothing painless is worth it. There will be moments that I will feel defeated, but I know how to keep my mind on the end result.

Being a more supportive spouse is hard for both of my husband and I especially during high stress situations. We are slowly but surely getting better at it. It is dangerous when we are not on the same level. I am the ultimate "moody bitch", and he accepts that more graciously than anyone I have ever met. I find it hard to believe that someone else exists who would be willing to be so patient and supportive. This is often when I start trying to figure out why the hell he is still with someone like me.

I am hot and cold twenty times in one day. My moodiness is exhausting. I know it is because it exhausts me! I am crazy and losing what is left of my sanity, and the man embraces me despite all of my transgressions. Now if I could only see myself through his eyes, I need to understand what it is he sees within me that makes him deal with my insane bullshit. He says he loves me all of me. The crazy, moody, angry, aggressive woman that is me. I just continue to figure out what I did in life to deserve him and endeavor to deserve my blessings.