Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
11 year old gang raped in Texas
An eleven year old girl was gang raped by 18 men who vary in age in Cleveland, Texas. Many of the family of the boys/men who were involved in this rape are asking, "what did this girl do to entice these boys?" This is an incredibly ignorant reaction to a brutal crime that was committed. How can you rationalize the rape of a small child? How can you blame an 11 year old girl for being gang raped? Being a woman who has been born and raised in Texas, this story disgusts me to the core. This little girl will never be the same mentally or physically. The people of Cleveland that are speaking to the media inferring that this child "asked for it" are an embarrassment to the state and the town itself. What is the average education level of the town of Cleveland, Texas? What are high school graduation statistics? These men are nothing more than good high school athletes that have huge entitlement issues. They are all obviously from families that are unaware of their whereabouts or activities.
We need to spend more time looking into the parents of the "alleged rapists". A child of only 11 years is still very much a baby. God only knows where she had to flee in her mind while she was tortured by so many for so long. I could care less that these boys/men have athletic careers in the balance at this point. Shame on the schools that continue to defend them or scout them. They need to be placed in grown up jail and let into general population. This little girl that lost her innocence over and over and over deserves to be vindicated. They should be identified as alleged child rapists to others, but clearly this is simply my opinion. If this happened to my child, I would not stop until each of these men/boys gets exactly what they deserve. Their lives should be lived in torture to remind them of what they did to their victim.
We need to spend more time looking into the parents of the "alleged rapists". A child of only 11 years is still very much a baby. God only knows where she had to flee in her mind while she was tortured by so many for so long. I could care less that these boys/men have athletic careers in the balance at this point. Shame on the schools that continue to defend them or scout them. They need to be placed in grown up jail and let into general population. This little girl that lost her innocence over and over and over deserves to be vindicated. They should be identified as alleged child rapists to others, but clearly this is simply my opinion. If this happened to my child, I would not stop until each of these men/boys gets exactly what they deserve. Their lives should be lived in torture to remind them of what they did to their victim.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
More Charlie Sheen News
I feel guilty for writing about this and adding links, but it is like a huge wreck! You want to look away but you simply cannot do it. Apparently, Sheen believes CBS and Chuck Lorre owe him an insane amount of money. Let's see how this next chapter in the junkie drama will play out!
xoxo
drea
http://bit.ly/dT7Cxe
xoxo
drea
http://bit.ly/dT7Cxe
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Excuse the Randomness!
Hi Everyone,
Please excuse the random posts. This is still a work in progress. I am currently working on a couple new projects, and I should have something new to post for you soon. The craziness of the week has set me back with my writing just a bit, but I am catching up quickly.
xoxo
Drea
Please excuse the random posts. This is still a work in progress. I am currently working on a couple new projects, and I should have something new to post for you soon. The craziness of the week has set me back with my writing just a bit, but I am catching up quickly.
xoxo
Drea
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Learning from the Pain
At times I feel vacant. I have not been able to find a place of peace all week. It seems that whenever there is an ounce of peace it is quickly interrupted with the next crisis. Being a woman who deals with also being Manic, I sometimes find it hard to express myself it can be very hard to maintain daily life. This never-ending growth of negativity has taken over, and I want to escape. I crave the darkness. The silence is painful, and I want to let go. My husbands constant strength and support, and the love of my children stop me from giving up completely. No one truly understands what it is like to be like me. It is exciting, always entertaining, yet bittersweet. When I feel passionately about a topic, I tend to speak louder especially when dealing with my extended family. My immediate family understands that I am Manic Depressive/Bipolar, and many have no idea what it means. I then fall to the side with the label crazy.
When you are labeled crazy by your own family, they have the tendency to dismiss anything that you say. There is nothing more insulting to me than to dismiss me. I might be bipolar, but I am highly functional. I have multiple degrees, and I am still a student. I am far from ignorant, and I should get credit for it because I come from a family working class people. I am the first person in my family to have more than a high school diploma yet I still get looked over. My own family prefers to deal with my husband than with me. It is sweet for me, but it is also a blow to my self esteem. No matter what I accomplish in life, I will never receive true credit from my extended family. It hurts, but I have my own family to worry about and take care of. Because I do not have a job outside of my home, one of my aunts told me I was worthless.
I think some people think because I am a stay at home mother I am some how lower ranked in life. This really irritates me. My husband and I agreed on our lifestyle before we got married. It was always my intention to be a stay at home mother. I want to raise my children, and I wanted to make sure that I am available for what they need. We have never had to defend our lifestyle to anyone until now. I found myself screaming into the telephone more than once yesterday because of a misunderstanding between family. In the process of trying to figure out what all was going on, my aunt says I have no worth because I have no damn job. This ignited the fire that had been building within me. She is almost 70, and she decided to hit low then hang up on me. Can I at least get the opportunity to give a rebuttal?
It took me about thirty seconds to call her back, and she hid from me by not answering her telephone. I left the ugliest message, and I am not proud of it however it felt great! "Listen bitch! I am a mother to my children and I have something you NEVER had a fucking H-U-S-B-A-N-D!" I shouted into my cellphone like a lunatic. I pretty much ended that relationship, and I knew I was doing it. I am tired of dealing with her problems. She is an unhappy wench. I have been as civil as possible for a long time, and she picked the wrong person to mess with. I am very confrontational. I do not believe in sugar coating anything. Let us be blunt as not to waste time.
After all of the drama, I found myself laying like a blob in my bed in capable of moving. It took hours for me to stop shaking from negative energy. Waking this morning, I am fearful something new will come up today. In an effort to stay sane, I am not speaking with anyone except my husband today. Anyone who calls can leave a message. I am not speaking with any of my aunts. I am over it. Family should not act this way, and I am aware of this. My point is, why fix it? Enough has been said. Let's just go our own ways. We are all adults. I will gladly become that family member that no longer talks to the rest of the family. My stress level would drop drastically. I am tired of caring what people think of me. I am tired of waiting for some type of acknowledgment from my family for my accomplishments rather than mistakes or things they consider mistakes because we never agree on the definition of mistake. It is all post menopausal bullshit.
Today I will spend the day cleaning my house and clearing out the negative energy that is hovering throughout it. Yesterday I took two steps backwards as someone who is manic, but today I gain those back. I will not empower my aunt by letting her bullshit negatively effect me anymore. I think we both silently agree to ignore each other from this point forward. Our relationship has never been great. I think she resents me for being so close to my cousin. She used to have to call me to find out if my cousin was doing okay. We put that all aside once my cousin died because life changed for both of us. Eventually the trouble that was never dealt with before the death is going to come back up, and it is finally here. My cousin always understood why her mother and I never got along, and I feel her supporting me right now. Somewhere in all of this dysfunction there is enlightenment. It is up to me to find it.
xoxo
D
When you are labeled crazy by your own family, they have the tendency to dismiss anything that you say. There is nothing more insulting to me than to dismiss me. I might be bipolar, but I am highly functional. I have multiple degrees, and I am still a student. I am far from ignorant, and I should get credit for it because I come from a family working class people. I am the first person in my family to have more than a high school diploma yet I still get looked over. My own family prefers to deal with my husband than with me. It is sweet for me, but it is also a blow to my self esteem. No matter what I accomplish in life, I will never receive true credit from my extended family. It hurts, but I have my own family to worry about and take care of. Because I do not have a job outside of my home, one of my aunts told me I was worthless.
I think some people think because I am a stay at home mother I am some how lower ranked in life. This really irritates me. My husband and I agreed on our lifestyle before we got married. It was always my intention to be a stay at home mother. I want to raise my children, and I wanted to make sure that I am available for what they need. We have never had to defend our lifestyle to anyone until now. I found myself screaming into the telephone more than once yesterday because of a misunderstanding between family. In the process of trying to figure out what all was going on, my aunt says I have no worth because I have no damn job. This ignited the fire that had been building within me. She is almost 70, and she decided to hit low then hang up on me. Can I at least get the opportunity to give a rebuttal?
It took me about thirty seconds to call her back, and she hid from me by not answering her telephone. I left the ugliest message, and I am not proud of it however it felt great! "Listen bitch! I am a mother to my children and I have something you NEVER had a fucking H-U-S-B-A-N-D!" I shouted into my cellphone like a lunatic. I pretty much ended that relationship, and I knew I was doing it. I am tired of dealing with her problems. She is an unhappy wench. I have been as civil as possible for a long time, and she picked the wrong person to mess with. I am very confrontational. I do not believe in sugar coating anything. Let us be blunt as not to waste time.
After all of the drama, I found myself laying like a blob in my bed in capable of moving. It took hours for me to stop shaking from negative energy. Waking this morning, I am fearful something new will come up today. In an effort to stay sane, I am not speaking with anyone except my husband today. Anyone who calls can leave a message. I am not speaking with any of my aunts. I am over it. Family should not act this way, and I am aware of this. My point is, why fix it? Enough has been said. Let's just go our own ways. We are all adults. I will gladly become that family member that no longer talks to the rest of the family. My stress level would drop drastically. I am tired of caring what people think of me. I am tired of waiting for some type of acknowledgment from my family for my accomplishments rather than mistakes or things they consider mistakes because we never agree on the definition of mistake. It is all post menopausal bullshit.
Today I will spend the day cleaning my house and clearing out the negative energy that is hovering throughout it. Yesterday I took two steps backwards as someone who is manic, but today I gain those back. I will not empower my aunt by letting her bullshit negatively effect me anymore. I think we both silently agree to ignore each other from this point forward. Our relationship has never been great. I think she resents me for being so close to my cousin. She used to have to call me to find out if my cousin was doing okay. We put that all aside once my cousin died because life changed for both of us. Eventually the trouble that was never dealt with before the death is going to come back up, and it is finally here. My cousin always understood why her mother and I never got along, and I feel her supporting me right now. Somewhere in all of this dysfunction there is enlightenment. It is up to me to find it.
xoxo
D
Sunday, March 6, 2011
"Get Out of My House!"
Who pops over to someone's house without calling first? I have a huge problem with this. I have always made it very clear to my family and friends that they are not to come unless they call first. I am super anal about this rule. If you show up unannounced, I am literally going to treat you like shit. I do not care who you are. My aunt thinks she can show up here whenever the hell she wants to, and I am about done with all the bullshit. This is my house now. I do not need her coming over and critiquing how I take care of my home or decorate it. I don't fucking care if your Lemon Tree is dead because IT NEVER GREW LEMONS! People and their little bubbles trapped in their fantasy world. Yes, my house is a hot mess with toys everywhere, the drive way is full of bikes, the back yard is full of baseball equipment, and the kitchen always has a few dirty dishes because the midgets eat all day long. She lived in this bigger than 2200 square foot home and lived in one room. Her house could not get dirty she never lived in it. When you have a 6 & 8 year old running around, things get dirty! She is trying to act like she's my landlord, I'm going to start treating her like one. I will start by getting the hot tub guy come out and fix it, and I will forward her the bill. I am also not going to do any home improvement things she wants done until she understands she WILL NOT try to run my life. I should have never stayed in Texas! I should be in Colorado where I want to be!
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Busy Saturday
Today will be a wild one. We have a birthday party for Ethan to attend this afternoon. We are all going because we don't want Carys to feel excluded. She and I will bowl like girls and talk about everyone else! Another awesome thing about having a daughter! I am hoping my parents will watch my beautiful midgets for the night. We love them, but mom & dad need a night off. We will do nothing exciting except watch a movie, but there will be silence! Off to get ready for the party!
xoxo
xoxo
Update on Crisis in Libya
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/03/05/gadhafi-forces-launch-cou_n_831772.html
Friday, March 4, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
"Student files lawsuit over FBI's GPS
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110303/ap_on_re_us/us_gps_tracking_warrants
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Damn You March!
Damn You March
Today will begin my month long journey. The next few weeks are always filled with mourning. This year is the 5th anniversary of my cousins tragic death. I try to keep Holy Candles lit daily in her honor. I also try to keep fresh flowers because she loved flowers. It is hard when I want to stay in bed under the covers and avoid this time of year. I keep hoping this year will be the year that it is not so sad, but I do not believe that day will ever come. I know this year will be tough because I finally know how she took her life. Ever since I found out, I have been discontent. The visuals are too much. I will never forgive myself for ignoring my intuition and deciding not to contact her a week before she took her life. We were arguing, and we had not spoken in various months. Our family breed stubborn women.
I feel my spirit begin to fade. Teresa was full of beauty and passion, and I am positive that even in her darkest hours in her broken mind her essence still came through. She is still the most beautiful woman I have ever known. There were very few in our family that understood her, but I did. We were like sisters. At times, we loved, fought, and laughed like normal family, but she to have her die during a fighting period is the most brutal guilt I have ever had to live with inside. I sat silently with my pride. I ignored my intuition which is something that I never do. In doing so I robbed myself and my family of her last years. I helped feed her isolation with my anger. My fear is that my silence fueled her emotions, but I was probably an after thought when she realized her actions worked.
When you are raised in a highly Catholic family, there is a great deal of guilt from religion that transfers into every portion of your life. It is impossible to live the righteous life that Catholicism teaches. We were both avid students of various religions. We both studied religions of the world and found beauty in them. She stuck with Catholicism loosely, and I left the Catholic Church after her death. When a Catholic person takes their own life, they are to be shunned because they did not live out God's plan. They are forever to be lost in purgatory for all of eternity as penance. My God does not punish the weak. I believe my cousin is finally at peace with God. I can feel her presence at times, and she always feels happy. She was in a really bad place emotionally during the month of March. Something happened toward the middle and end of the month to push her to the edge. I will forever wonder what or who it was because for her to die for love would be completely feasible.
xoxo
d
Today will begin my month long journey. The next few weeks are always filled with mourning. This year is the 5th anniversary of my cousins tragic death. I try to keep Holy Candles lit daily in her honor. I also try to keep fresh flowers because she loved flowers. It is hard when I want to stay in bed under the covers and avoid this time of year. I keep hoping this year will be the year that it is not so sad, but I do not believe that day will ever come. I know this year will be tough because I finally know how she took her life. Ever since I found out, I have been discontent. The visuals are too much. I will never forgive myself for ignoring my intuition and deciding not to contact her a week before she took her life. We were arguing, and we had not spoken in various months. Our family breed stubborn women.
I feel my spirit begin to fade. Teresa was full of beauty and passion, and I am positive that even in her darkest hours in her broken mind her essence still came through. She is still the most beautiful woman I have ever known. There were very few in our family that understood her, but I did. We were like sisters. At times, we loved, fought, and laughed like normal family, but she to have her die during a fighting period is the most brutal guilt I have ever had to live with inside. I sat silently with my pride. I ignored my intuition which is something that I never do. In doing so I robbed myself and my family of her last years. I helped feed her isolation with my anger. My fear is that my silence fueled her emotions, but I was probably an after thought when she realized her actions worked.
When you are raised in a highly Catholic family, there is a great deal of guilt from religion that transfers into every portion of your life. It is impossible to live the righteous life that Catholicism teaches. We were both avid students of various religions. We both studied religions of the world and found beauty in them. She stuck with Catholicism loosely, and I left the Catholic Church after her death. When a Catholic person takes their own life, they are to be shunned because they did not live out God's plan. They are forever to be lost in purgatory for all of eternity as penance. My God does not punish the weak. I believe my cousin is finally at peace with God. I can feel her presence at times, and she always feels happy. She was in a really bad place emotionally during the month of March. Something happened toward the middle and end of the month to push her to the edge. I will forever wonder what or who it was because for her to die for love would be completely feasible.
xoxo
d
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