Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
"Are You In A Relationship With An Emotional Vampire?" by @Mastinkipp
On the blog... "Are You In A Relationship With An Emotional Vampire?" by @MastinKipp http://thedailylove.com/?p=3112
Enlightened
June 25, 2011
I mentioned in a prior post that my exboyfriend from over ten years ago randomly emailed me on Facebook. I must do a quick update for my #dramalvrs. When he persisted to email me, I decided blocking him would be best. He never really could take a hint. I went to block him, and I quickly discovered that he did it for me. Call me evil. Judge you as you will undoubtedly do because I might if I were you! (lol).
After some deep thoughts, and a great deal of meditation/prayers I let go of the anger I feel when I think of him popping up in my life. It bothered me more than I let on, but I have moved passed it. I thought for sure one of our mutual friends had recently heard from him too. My fears became reality when I was crowned the only one. I began to close my eyes and sit in silence. The only reason someone shady from your past suddenly appears out of nowhere is good old fashion ignorance mixed with a nice helping of delusion & Catholic guilt!
For years I have wondered what kind of reaction I would have if he randomly appeared in my life again. I knew that we could never be friends, and I am completely fine with it too. Actually knowing that the paragraph I sent in response to his random email and a little help from my personal guardian angel was enough to make him block me was my own private victory.
Maybe he saw my picture as I popped up on friends suggestion right hand side of his screen, or he saw me on our mutual friends walls. There I am. The girl he left while she was sleeping. Instead of speaking to me face to face. You thought "Hey! Wow there's Drea!", and said what I wanted to hear in a random email, "I apologize for what I did to you."
Although he was very far from being truly apologetic. He is just tired of carrying around the guilt he feels when he thinks of me. I am still that smart yet absolutely insane girl he knew a long time ago. Except now I am smarter, and I am a hell of allot stronger. I have had a very blessed life since I walked away from him. My blessings are endless. I stood tall with scars from a sick relationship, sobered up, and realized the man who loved me was in front of me the entire time. I would have never met my husband without meeting my ex-boyfriend.
Funny how life works. Throughout the drama and the pain of being in a sick and twisted relationship I met my husband, my best friends, and my true strength. All the hurt, pain, and tears were not in vain. God listens, and he answers in many ways. The goddess blessed me and showed me my inner strength. My ex will always be a BUM in my eyes. My husband is the culmination of all my prayers answered, and my children bring new light.
I mentioned in a prior post that my exboyfriend from over ten years ago randomly emailed me on Facebook. I must do a quick update for my #dramalvrs. When he persisted to email me, I decided blocking him would be best. He never really could take a hint. I went to block him, and I quickly discovered that he did it for me. Call me evil. Judge you as you will undoubtedly do because I might if I were you! (lol).
After some deep thoughts, and a great deal of meditation/prayers I let go of the anger I feel when I think of him popping up in my life. It bothered me more than I let on, but I have moved passed it. I thought for sure one of our mutual friends had recently heard from him too. My fears became reality when I was crowned the only one. I began to close my eyes and sit in silence. The only reason someone shady from your past suddenly appears out of nowhere is good old fashion ignorance mixed with a nice helping of delusion & Catholic guilt!
For years I have wondered what kind of reaction I would have if he randomly appeared in my life again. I knew that we could never be friends, and I am completely fine with it too. Actually knowing that the paragraph I sent in response to his random email and a little help from my personal guardian angel was enough to make him block me was my own private victory.
Maybe he saw my picture as I popped up on friends suggestion right hand side of his screen, or he saw me on our mutual friends walls. There I am. The girl he left while she was sleeping. Instead of speaking to me face to face. You thought "Hey! Wow there's Drea!", and said what I wanted to hear in a random email, "I apologize for what I did to you."
Although he was very far from being truly apologetic. He is just tired of carrying around the guilt he feels when he thinks of me. I am still that smart yet absolutely insane girl he knew a long time ago. Except now I am smarter, and I am a hell of allot stronger. I have had a very blessed life since I walked away from him. My blessings are endless. I stood tall with scars from a sick relationship, sobered up, and realized the man who loved me was in front of me the entire time. I would have never met my husband without meeting my ex-boyfriend.
Funny how life works. Throughout the drama and the pain of being in a sick and twisted relationship I met my husband, my best friends, and my true strength. All the hurt, pain, and tears were not in vain. God listens, and he answers in many ways. The goddess blessed me and showed me my inner strength. My ex will always be a BUM in my eyes. My husband is the culmination of all my prayers answered, and my children bring new light.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Happy Birthday Me
June 20, 2011
This month has started out with a huge bang. My husband surprised me with a quick weekend get away to the Hill Country for my birthday. We enjoyed the complete quiet and relaxation of the country. No computers and only kids on the cell phone. It was just what we needed to get centered again. I sat outside on the huge back porch, and I meditated in the sunlight. I felt myself more grounded than i have been in a long time. I feel like the holy spirit surrounded me. It was a beautiful experience. Little did I know that I would be needing relaxation because of the hectic week waiting for my return.
This month has started out with a huge bang. My husband surprised me with a quick weekend get away to the Hill Country for my birthday. We enjoyed the complete quiet and relaxation of the country. No computers and only kids on the cell phone. It was just what we needed to get centered again. I sat outside on the huge back porch, and I meditated in the sunlight. I felt myself more grounded than i have been in a long time. I feel like the holy spirit surrounded me. It was a beautiful experience. Little did I know that I would be needing relaxation because of the hectic week waiting for my return.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
He's Cyber Stalking Me O.o
It is only Tuesday, and it has already been a very crazy week. Aside from not feeling very well, a person from the past decided to just run into my life again via internet. It caught me completely off balance. I cannot understand the reason behind the sudden email. There was not a kind word uttered between me and this person for years. We parted on very bad terms. This is why I am shocked by his actions. I had put this person in my past, where he should be, many years ago. Since our doomed drug induced relationship, I have met and married the love of my life. We have two children. I have been blessed many times in my life despite my transgressions. The only reason I can think of that this person is trying to apologize 11 years later is that he is involved in some 12 step program.
I simply explained in a response email that I have nothing to say to him and wished him a happy life. I am still totally suspicious of his actions. It provided no relief to me to read his half-assed apology. He almost put me in the wrong state of mind today. Seeing his name was like having a horrible flashback that I had no control over. An LSD trip that went totally wrong. Thankfully I can recognize now that letting myself feel this way is only empowering him. I will not participate in that at all! I put it out of my mind, and I do what I always do when I cannot get my frustration out. I write until it makes sense, and I feel completely cleansed. I also sought out other Wiccan's online, and I have received great advice on how to rid myself of the negativity that is radiating.
To be continued eventually ....
xoxo
drea
I simply explained in a response email that I have nothing to say to him and wished him a happy life. I am still totally suspicious of his actions. It provided no relief to me to read his half-assed apology. He almost put me in the wrong state of mind today. Seeing his name was like having a horrible flashback that I had no control over. An LSD trip that went totally wrong. Thankfully I can recognize now that letting myself feel this way is only empowering him. I will not participate in that at all! I put it out of my mind, and I do what I always do when I cannot get my frustration out. I write until it makes sense, and I feel completely cleansed. I also sought out other Wiccan's online, and I have received great advice on how to rid myself of the negativity that is radiating.
To be continued eventually ....
xoxo
drea
Prayer for Pregnancy by Morey O'Connell
Prayer for Pregnancy
Help Me to Be Fruitful
Great Goddess, Empress Earth,
I pray you, help me to be fertile
I pray you, help me to be fruitful
I pray you, help me to conceive a healthy child
I ask this with all of my heart
I ask this with my body and soul
I ask this in the Lady's name
So be it! Blessed be!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)