Christina Aguilera - Hurt

"Sun Therapy" for a boost to shake depression away

"Sun Therapy" for a boost to shake depression away

New Article!

Hi everyone! I have a new place for you to check out articles written by me for examiner.com! I deal with health and wellness!

http://www.examiner.com/wellness-in-houston/peace-and-happiness-despite-stress

Signs to look for in identifying Bipolar Disorder

People around the world live stressful lives. There are good days and bad ones for every person. When you are a person living with bipolar disorder, life's ups and downs can be more like base jumping off a mountain top to hiding under the covers with all the lights off sulking unable to leave your bed. Untreated, this disorder can wreak havoc on a persons life. It is so consuming it not only effects the person suffering with this daily, but it also effects the people around you whether it is family, friends, or co-workers. No one wants to be the creator of a hostile work environment or a troubled home. Treatment is absolutely necessary to prevent self destruction. There are symptoms of this disorder that are easily identifiable.

There are various cycles a person who is suffering from bipolar disorder goes through. An untreated individual will exhibit signs of mania or hyper activity which causes frequent mood changes, erratic thinking, impulsive actions, and a boost in energy. Depending on the severity of this disorder, a person during a manic phase can be awake for numerous days because they are unable to stop the constant negative inner monologue. Rapid thoughts and the inability to silence them are brutal. All of these things mixed together can paralyze a person and begin to interfere with the ability to function as a “normal” person.

A person who is manic can switch and slip into a depressive and low state of mind. It can happen within minutes, days, months, or years. This low period is often full of depression, and a person can lack the motivation needed to simply leave their bedroom or home. During a low period, people still have a negative inner voice torturing them to no end. It slowly chips away at self esteem, self value, and the will to live. A person will likely isolate during this period. Isolation is never good for someone suffering from this disorder. Isolation breeds erratic thought and actions. When a person is alone and depressed, their can also be a sudden increase in suicidal thoughts. This is why asking for help and surrounding yourself with people who can provide the support them through the various phases of bipolar disorder.

Living a normal functioning life is possible for individuals living with this disorder is possible. With the help of medical professionals and support of family and friends, a person can learn to eventually be able to control these symptoms. The most important part is acknowledging there is a mental health issue that must be addressed reach out for help.

To the Oklahoma Lawmakers: poem

Demi Lavato #StayStrong

I was flipping channels the other day, and I saw a commercial for Demi Lavato's one hour doc. on Mtv. I thought to myself, "wow this is a really brave young woman" because I was diagnosed bipolar at her age, and I could have never been so open about the chaos that was in my life. There is such a huge stigma attached to being depressed/bipolar/cutting/eating disorder. Demi is going to help so many young people to not be afraid and embrace themselves.
Being in pain emotionally is something that you have to have assistance with daily. Some people prefer to be medication free, but there are several of us that are medicinally dependent to live a "normal" life. There is no shame needing to take medicine. It is more painful doing without and listening to the constant negative inner voice which can be more abusive than anything else. I am constantly hard on myself because I have unrealistic expectations. It has taken many years to be okay with myself just the way I am. I love myself, and I realize I am a damn complex woman. I just wish I had someone to identify with when I was younger. As an adult, I want to help as many people as I can (regardless of age) who share the same "flaws" or "eccentricity".
When I was diagnosed bipolar, I thought "wow I really am fucking crazy" It made my self confidence disappear. I isolated myself. I would turn to other vices to numb myself. Eventually self medication became a problem. I could not identify with anyone else my age. I broke a mirror and started slicing my inner thighs and upper arms. No one knew I did this. Not even my family. I hid it all, and I just stayed so fucking mad at everyone...especially myself. It was hard to come to terms with the fact that I had a problem. I wanted to deal with everything myself. This was the worst mistake I could make. My life spiraled downward from there. It was not always dark for me. I had plenty of fun depending on what phase i was in manic or low. When I was manic, I thought I could do no wrong, and if it was wrong, I did not care! I felt like I was unbreakable. I acted on impulse. When I was low, I was unable to leave my home, unable to speak to anyone for very long, cried constantly, and the only reason I moved on was because friends and family.
I was 27 when I met my husband. He was very aware of my complex life. He knew I could be bouncing off the wall one day incapable of movement the next. He held my hand until I felt better when I was anxious. He accepted me as a friend first, and he eventually lost his damn mind and married me. I could not understand why someone like him would want to chain himself to someone like me for the rest of his life. He loves me despite myself. He loves me unconditionally. He is one of a precious few who can calm me down when I'm raging, anxious, or scared. I can be in the middle of the worst panic attack, and I call him. The sound of his voice alone sooths me. He reminds me how strong I am. He knows that I am not a monster. I am just an emotionally charged person who is chemically imbalanced. Most people would run from that description, but not my angel.
I still battle daily to be a normal functioning individual. I have incredible strength because I have the support I need, and I realize how strong I am by moving forward and accepting my illness. My illness does not define me. It is a daily battle, but I am ready for the fight. I might have my moments of "walking the edge", but I will not fall because I have too much to living to do! If I wake one morning and decide I cannot deal with this day, I do what I can to push myself through it. I always talk to someone if I am having a hard time. Social networking has been amazing in that I have met so many other people like myself. There is always someone online to talk to regardless of the time of day or night. I encourage all of you to just reach out, and if you are at the point where you don't want to talk then get a pad of paper and write your insanity down. Get it out of your head, spirit, energy, etc! Self expression is an amazing release. When I write, I am purging myself of the insanity that is me. I feel at peace with myself when I write it out. Just remember to take life one day at a time. We are never given a burden that is too much to bare.

As this beautiful little one "Demi Lavato" says, "Stay Strong"

xoxo
BB

Kirk Cameron on homosexuality

This man is so incredibly annoying! EVOLUTION embrace it!

Feeling Low

I am impatient. My heart is heavy, and my head is pounding. I want to lay down and just cry it out. I do not have that luxury right now though. I sit here waiting for the moment I can turn on the water in the bathroom and just rid myself of all this heavy shit. The Catholic girl in me is fighting with the Wiccan hippie I have become, and my head can barely take it. My pain comes, and God/Goddess/Universe only know why I have been chosen to walk this path.  I am just following it. Riding out the bumps and holes. Holding on white knuckled for the ride. Waiting for the remedy to hit my blood and give me some sweet fucking relief from the anxiety that paralyzes me. I will put a smile on my face when I need to fake what I am feeling. Anyone who really knows me knows I cannot hide anything because I show it all through my eyes. I feel transparent. The world can look at me and see right through me. There to judge. There to pity. I don't want a pat on the head like I am a fucking half step away from a straight jacket. Fuck you until you walk in my damn shoes for a day. You live with emtional torture.  I put myself through this daily by reevaluating my every step, move, choice, all of it constantly there to remind me I am imperfect because I lack the ability to restrain myself at times. I would love nothing more than to tell the little voice in my head to STFU, but who would I talk to if the voice leaves?

Enough is Enough: Monster March Against Bullying

Enough is Enough: Monster March Against Bullying: I think my favorite line from their "info" section is: While parents, school officials and politicians keep imposing well intended rules a...

Enough is Enough: Oklahoma Teen Savagely Beaten in anti-Gay Attack

Enough is Enough: Oklahoma Teen Savagely Beaten in anti-Gay Attack: There was a party. Eighteen-year-old Cody Rogers, an LGBT teen, attended along with other of his friends. Also at the party, however, were...

Enough is Enough: Preventable Tragedy in Chardon, Ohio

Enough is Enough: Preventable Tragedy in Chardon, Ohio: This morning, in a sleepy town 30 mile east of Cleveland, Ohio, 17-year-old Thomas "TJ" Lane opened fire on some of his high school classm...

Why didn't I just stay in college the first time O.o

I have always been very blunt about my life with most people. I find sharing my own experiences with others can be incredibly satisfying especially when I find someone else who is similar to me. I feel strength in numbers. (lol) This last week was an interesting week. The topic of education was constantly brought up in different ways because my school loans need to be paid, and I really despise the expense of my collection of degrees.  I also took time to "reflect" on my prior decisions to put college off instead of committing to the task right after high school like normal people. However I am my mother's child, and I like to be stubborn and must only learn things by taking the hard road. I guess I like some of the bumps. O.o I remember being a teenager and dreaming about getting out of Texas and to Europe with my cousin Teresa. I really believed my parents would help fund a "year off after graduation to find myself", but I was incredibly wrong.

 "I do not care Mom college can wait!" these are the words that I regret the most. If I could go back 10 years to speak to my younger self, I would say "okay this is all going to suck a little bit but it will be worth it! Go to school now!" followed by a smack and a good shaking. My life throughout my twenties was spent partying while working various jobs and going to school at different points. I got the whole "college partying" experience here because living in a college town can lead to a load of fun trouble for your young and fearless years. I wish I would have just stayed in school when I was supposed to instead of quitting to work. Life without a degree is horrible financially. I did not realize this until I was older.

By the age of 28 I was married and having my first child. I thought about what kind of education I would need to be able to care for my child. I was lost, and it sucked because I was not a child. I was a grown ass woman who had no idea what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. As I became a wife and mother, the importance of education was brutally obvious. Shortly after I had my second child a daughter I decided I was going to return to college to finish what I started. I spent the next few years getting my Associates Degree in Information Technology, Bachelor of Science in Information Technology and Information System Security, and I am half way complete in obtaining my Masters in Management Information Systems. Going to college when you are married with two small children is a test of personal strength. I wish my parents had pushed school more rather than just working a blue collar job.

My parents did the best that they could with me, and I realize more now than ever. I was stubborn, and I would have done what I wanted to do regardless. I feel like since I spent most of my time just getting by in college when I was 18-20 years old. I knew I was not performing course work to the best of my ability. If I had more help available to me, I believe that I could have stayed in school at 20 instead of just dropping out. I think I would have gained more confidence in my academic abilities at a younger age if I was given the extra help I needed.  I definitely could have used the help of tutors. I have my son in various tutorial programs to make his school experience different than mine. I want him to actually enjoy school and not dread the place.

We want our children to enjoy their education because it is so vital. It is also very competitive once your children get older and closer to starting their journey into college. My husband and I will support both of our children while they are trying to get through school.  If either of the kids needed extra help for college prep work, I would consider using something like StudyPoint Tutoring because it is easier to have a tutor available online.  My opinion is biased because I prefer taking care of things online. I like having everything right at my finger tips!

I regret not completing my degrees before marriage and children, but it is the way it worked out for me. I made the best out of it. I felt compelled to completely my education because I want to be a proper example of a woman for both of my children but especially my daughter. I did not become the "I will sleep when it gets done" student until I was mature enough to be that committed to learning. I have learned that there is nothing that I cannot accomplish because all I have to do is envision it, resign to it, work hard, and enjoy the incredible sense of accomplishment I feel knowing I can do absolutely anything I put my mind to.....with help from my loving family. Make your kids stay in school people!

xoxo
BB