Carys G. Rives aka Carita is 7 today!!!

Carys G. Rives aka Carita is 7 today!!!

I was so very blessed 7 years ago today when I first saw my baby girl. My husband Dan and I were both scared when we found out we were having a girl, but I was prepared for the challenge...at least that is what I really thought at the time! Labor was my first sign that this kid was going to be tough. After two epidurals failed, the nurse looked at me between gut wrenching screams and said, "Andrea look at me! You are going to have to prepare to deliver her without pain assistance!! You can do this okay!?!" At that point, I think I went blank out of shock, and I looked at Dan crying saying, "Nooooo!! I cannot do this without pain meds!!!" I remember the sadistic doctor responsible for both epidural failures sticking his head in to apologize again. I did not even let him speak I just remember holding Dan's hand and saying, "if you think i'm paying for both of those epidural you've got me fucked up!" Yes even in labor, I protest hospital bills (LOL). As I got closer to push time, I was screaming louder, and I hear an alarm go off and nurses rush in the room. I knew something was completely wrong.

Carys's heartbeat was dropping every time I had a contraction. The nurses said that if it continued, I would need an emergency C-Section. It scared me, but I really did not want that surgery. After a few more minutes of, "no don't push! your doctor is almost here!" I started doing what I do! I get pissed off because of the pain, I am screaming like I am dying, and I start cursing. Yes, I was the mother that actually did scream, "get her out of meeeee!!!!! now!!!!!!" (LOL) As soon as my doctor walked in I said "Finally!" and I pushed that little girl out!!" The doctors face changed, and she said "hold your push! The cord is in a knot!" I think I turned white when I saw the tight knot. She held my baby up and passed her to the nurses. The doctor looked at me and said, "you just had a miracle. I have heard of a knot in the cord, but I have never delivered one sucessfully." My child should have died during birth, but she lived. She is my clone, and I fall more in love with her every single day.

I never really knew what my purpose was in life. I knew that I wanted to accomplish certain goals in life, but I was always unsure of myself and my decisions. When I had both children, I knew that I was meant to be "Mama". I might be winging it because I have no idea what the hell I am doing, but neither does anyone else really. My husband and I are just trying to raise good children with open hearts and minds.

Yesterday we celebrated Carys's 7th birthday with her class. I took cupcakes for the kids to eat. I walked in the room, and Carys was seated with a crown on her head. She handed out all the cupcakes, and a few kids had seconds until they were gone. After the party, we walked to get Ethan out of his class to go home. She walked in the door, and she runs up to Ethan to tell him it's time to leave. As I talked to his teacher, I noticed when he turned around and saw his sister. He smiled and gave her a big hug without being told to! I could have cried. Sibling rivalry is deep in this family. I have been trying to explain the importance of their relationship forever! They are finally at an age where they are understanding how important they are to each other. I told Ethan how beautiful it was that he hugged her. Carys then explains that he ran up and gave her a hug at lunch too. I lost control of my tears at that point. Knowing that he understands she was having a tough time in school this week, and she really needed his support. He put aside any name calling that he might get from his guys for hugging his sister, but he does not care what anyone says about him. "Their opinion doesn't matter Mom. I know I'm good inside" he said.

Somehow, in all the chaos that is our lives, he was actually listening when we told him "it's not about what other people think. It is how it makes you feel inside. If you think you can live with yourself and your choices, you can get at it son, and no one can stop you" He finally understands, and she is realizing her brother is her best friend.

Today is all about Carys! She is getting breakfast in bed (when she wakes up!) and gets the living room television all day. She is going to spend time with my parents while Ethan and I go shopping for her gifts this afternoon. He knows exactly what he wants to buy her. We are also letting him get a surprise because he stepped up and supported his sister so much this week. It is nice to walk in to their school and be told by the staff that I have the kindest and most well behaved children. It takes a second for me to realize they are talking about my midget monsters! O.o Thank God they are exactly like their Dad and keep their crazy at home...unlike their mom. Thank you God, Goddess, and universe for the many blessings you have given me despite my constant transgressions.

Love & Light,
Drea