I don't know you anymore.....

I love without restraint and passionately. I am very loyal to the point that it can be detrimental to myself. Jaded from past experiences, I am fighting to let go of the disappointment I feel deep inside. I believe we are placed in different scenarios throughout our lives to prepare us for something greater. My strength is being tested. I was there without any questions offering my support when no one else wanted to help. Now I am stuck with this feeling of dread, and I am disheartened by the outcome. I never thought there would be anything to change my perception of you yet the thought of you makes me shake my head in disbelief. There is no looking back now. I am tormented by your clouded judgement and complete lack of self esteem. There is no recognition. The bitch I knew would shake her head in disgust at the decisions you have made. You are a shell of who you once were. How does it feel to willingly laydown in the gutter because it is where he wants you to be? Will you keep a guard up to protect yourself from being a punching bag? I see you standing alone. Unwilling to lift an arm up to block fists out of fear you lie there taking it because you handed over all of your power to a fiend who is forever the victim. At what point did your self respect flee? I am pained by my inability to help you understand you deserve so much better in life, but you do not believe my words because dysfunction is all you know. If you stay in the dark, there is little chance of you ever finding the light. When will you learn, love does not hurt. Love that is pure and unconditional is better than any drug we have tried. The thought that you may never experience this type of love in your life breaks my heart into a million pieces. I wish I could make you see in yourself all of the beauty I have always seen inside of you. Pain can be addictive. Since I have known you, I have watched the self inflicted torture you put yourself through. I pray for the best but prepare for the worst. As long as you ignore your intution, you will never get yourself on the right path again. Our friendship has began to crumble since you decided in a moment of crisis to hand your heart and self respect over to someone who will never be capable to give you the love and life you deserve. Instead you keep the fucked up cycle of chaos around you. I have no room in my life for those who bring me into their bullshit. I always thought we would ride or die together. Now, I feel the need to walk away and not look back. I have to leave you in the shitty mess you did not create but accepted because I can honestly say I cannot and will not allow my family to be around yours. Call me what you want to and judge me as you wish. You are no longer the type of person I want my children around. I am too old for this bullshit. I will always love you. I just cannot be associated with the new you and him.